When you have as many kids as I do, it is inevitable that you are going to be dealing with different personalities. To be honest each of my kids are completely different from the others. The only exception is the two boys and that’s mainly because they have the same issues with ADD and ODD. Although their personalities are different, I still know what to expect from them all. That is until recently.
As she was growing up, the oldest girl (who is now 12) was always the easy kid. She was always cheerful and did the things she was told to do. Even potty training her was the easiest. We were spending the weekend out of town with family and we told her, at a little older than 2, that this isn’t our house and we cannot wet the bed and she never wet the bed again! She was the reasonable one. Not so much anymore.
I am really at a loss on how to handle her anymore. I am a guy who grew up in a family of guys and now I am a dad with three girls. Other than taking things away, which doesn’t seem to work, I have no idea how to discipline a girl. Granted I know that she is becoming a teenage girl and certain hormones and mood swings are to be expected but I truly do not believe this is what I am dealing with. Let me give you a little recap of some of what I am experiencing.
Like every child, she hates to do chores. Since she used to be the responsible one, my wife and I decided that if she completely her chores we would pay her an allowance. We even agreed to pay her a way more than fair amount because of how good she used to be. I won’t say the actual number because some of you might throw up if you heard the number. The first week or two she was fine but then she gradually would cut corners or flat out not do stuff. Now we can’t get her to do anything. We even told her she wasn’t getting paid anymore until she starts doing things the right way and still she does nothing. This is just the mildest of the problems.
My wife and I are pretty progressive when it comes to most things with our children. We promote an open and honest dialogue and give our kids every opportunity to express themselves. We have allowed her to wear makeup and color her hair when she wanted (within reason). It has gotten to the point where she isn’t just wearing foundation anymore. She is painting herself all up and spending hours all throughout the day doing her hair. It is like every day (even when we don’t go anywhere) is prom day and she has to spend every waking hour primping herself. I will be damned if I am going to have my 12 year old girl walk around looking like some call girl who is so vain that she spends all her time looking in the mirror.
We noticed the other morning that she looked different than she did the night before. After further examining her we figured out that she had cut her hair and shaved her eyebrows. Before school started she wanted to dye her hair this bright red color. We figured that something like that will wash out and if it allows her to express herself then it is fine. We however didn’t allow her to get some horribly ugly emo hair cut that she wanted. Like I said, we are pretty cool with things, within reason. Well I am guessing she looked a how to cut online or something because it looks as though she attempted to give herself this cut without our permission. She messed her eye brows up so bad that it is going to take forever for them to grow back the right way too. When we confronted her about it, she lied straight to out faces like we are stupid or something. My wife is the one who cut her hair before school so we know EXACTLY how it was cut and no normal 12 year old girl’s eye brows just fall out naturally. I just cannot believe that she thinks we are this dumb.
She has also gotten so mean all the time. My wife and I will be in the next room and all of a sudden we can hear her screaming at the top of her lungs at the toddlers. My wife or myself will go into the room and tell her that we don’t yell in this house and that they are still babies so you can’t just scream at them. I know the 5 year old boy has issues and he can be difficult but the truth of the matter is, he is reactionary. He is usually fine until he gets yelled at or if he wants something reasonable and she says no just to be a jerk. How do you yell at babies? She even yells at the 2 year old. It is insane.
Unfortunately I could go on and on about her disrespect and meanness but I won’t. It would take me all day to write it and you all day to read it. That is how bad she has gotten. She used to be daddy’s little girl and has turned into daddy’s little demon in a matter of months. We used to hang out and joke around and really get each other and those days are gone. I knew that one day she would leave her daddy behind but I still thought we would still have a good relationship. We just don’t anymore. She has become the most disrespectful child I have ever seen…wait the second most disrespectful child I have ever seen. My brother is way worse to my parents, but that is a whole other story.
I write this in hopes that maybe you all have some ideas. I know most of you are mommies and daddies and I was thinking you all had some ideas. I am willing to try anything because my wife and I have tried everything that we can imagine. Do you have any ideas on how to get my little girl back to normal?This blog may contain links to sponsored content. Please see my disclosure policy for details.