Finding Andrew

question faceI have been a father for 12 years now. Before that I had interests, goals and dreams of my own. It is amazing how you can lose yourself as a parent and as a husband. I am not saying that with resentment or disdain but it is very true. Once you become a parent, your children have to come first and I knew that going into this journey.  In all honesty, I didn’t even realize that I had lost who I was/am until recently.

As parents we have to all realize that we have our own identity.  We have something at our core that makes us who we are.  There has to be right?  If there wasn’t, then how did we have children in the first place?  Our spouses had to fall in love with something about us!  We need to all take a long hard look at our lives before kids and after and find out what we have left behind to make room for our children.  Once we start to figure out what these things are, then we have to take them back one by one.

I say one by one because it isn’t realistic to snatch them all back at once.  You have to pick something out and make sometime for it.  For instance, before I had kids, I would play my guitar every single day.  I would go up to my room or sit on the front porch and just mellow out with music.  Now, if I even try to break out the guitar, I have to worry if I am too loud and wake up the kids or the kids come over and want to strum the guitar and knock it out of tune.  I have to find a way to find that me time where I can bring the music back into my life!

I am sure I am not the only one.  What are the things you gave up over time as a parent?  I challenge you all to take the time to find yourself.  Think back to the days when you only had to worry about yourself and find a way to take back one of the things that you loved.  While you are taking it back, think about how things used to be and just marinate in that moment.  You can be a great parent and still be you.  Go forth and take it back my friends.  Take it all back one at a time! 


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