I want to start out by saying that I left my Mother-in-laws comments to yesterdays blog post up on the Facebook page for now as a reference tool. I am going to use this as not only a response to everything she said, but also to put the truth out there. I apologize to those who avoid drama but since she “outed” herself by commenting, I feel like I have a duty to you all to set the record straight.
My MIL wants you to believe, just like my son, that she is some sort of martyr. Did they lose there business of 18 years? Yes they did. Where there things that could have been done to prevent that for the last few years it was open? Absolo-frickin-lutely! Don’t get me wrong, my Father-in-law is one of the best men I know. He doesn’t deserve the crap he deals with and didn’t deserve to have his business shut down. Hell, my wife and I worked over night many nights to update the place and make it look more presentable so I get it.
Also, yes my MIL was out of work for 4 months and that is why she said she couldn’t stay with the kids. I posted about that a while back. If you need a refresher then Click Here. I was pretty understanding about it too. I just think it gets harder to understand when it is every single time we ask for her to stay with the kids. In over 10 years she has NEVER watched the kids for any extended period of time. The only time she watched them at all was when we lived with her and the kids had to be in bed asleep first and we had to get up with them in the morning. Plus she wouldn’t even come home to “watch” them until 10pm and at that point why bother. We would have to go somewhere and close the place down to get any time out and by then we would have to be up in couple of hours to be with the kids. We went on one vaction 8 years ago and MY PARENTS watched the kids. My parents are always the ones watching the kids. Also, back then it was only the 2 “step” kids as she likes to put it. So my parents who technically aren’t blood related in the early part of mine and my wifes relationship cared more to make time than my MIL.
While we are on the subject about living with my MIL. Did we fall on hard times? Yes we did. Did we stay with my in-laws for a while? We sure did. Did my MIL make us all (except the oldest boy of course) feel like we were free loaders and make us feel unwelcome at every turn to the point that I sunk into depression. You are damn right! But the first time ( because apparently there were many) they were going to “lose the house” did we give them like two grand so that didn’t happen? Without a hesitation. When she called a couple of months back and asked for another couple of grand for the same reason we didn’t have it but even despite my feelings I would have done it. You see, I was raised to help family when they need it and not throw it in their face! I guess that is a lesson we aren’t all taught, right Pam?
Funny thing is, I have never EVER referred to them as my “step” kids. I am glad you finally have an opinion on something though. I have been around since they were babies and have never treated them any different than I would my biological kids. While their sperm donor was ignoring them, I was the one tucking them in and singing them to sleep. I am never one to toot my own horn but I think it is pretty damn admirable that a 20 year old kid would assume the role of the father without hesitation and treat them like they were my own. Do you know what most 20 year old guys are doing? It sure as hell isn’t singing lullaby’s and taking kids to the park! I did it because I love your daughter and MY KIDS! All of them! Even before the youngest three came along they were always my kids!
The other night when you called, you are right, I didn’t pick up the phone. Most of the time you call we don’t pick up the phone. I wonder why? Could it be because all you do is bitch and moan and when it comes time for us to talk you conveniently have to rush off the phone. You are a one sided person. If the conversation doesn’t have to do with you then you don’t have time to hear it. I did notice you didn’t say on your comment on Facebook that you didn’t believe him. You said you would have told me your thoughts. Why not just publicly say you didn’t believe him right there? It is because even on Facebook its about saving face for you. You only care about what people think and how they should feel bad for you.
In November my wife and I have a work thing. My wife and another blogger have started a blogger get together that could be potentially great for business. When my MIL canceled on our vacation we asked if she could stay with the kids in November so that everything didn’t have to fall on my parents. He response was that she couldn’t commit because she didn’t think her boss would let her have time off. Funny thing is, she is going to a wedding around the same time as our business trip. Not a wedding down the street, but a wedding several states away in Florida and one in New York in October. It’s funny how she has time for that but not her grandkids. My wife has been right all along. I tried not to believe it but its true. Everyone else comes first.
The sad thing is, the whole point of yesterdays post was to get her to acknowledge his lies. I wanted to show her that she is the only one buying into it and he needed to be reprimanded for it. She is the one who made it about her and not about him. She needs to realize that he isn’t some perfect angel and if she keeps up with this then he is going to end up in jail or worse.
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Kudos to you for being man enough to stand up for what is right. I have a ridiculous MIL that I cannot stand to have around. I let my husband decide for himself what the right thing to do was, and he eventually saw that it was better she not be in our lives. It is nice to hear a story of a MAN who takes all responsibility for ALL of his children, even if they aren’t biological. Keep up the good work!
[...] am sure most of you have read my rants involving my mother in law. During that situation you all gave me the feedback that I really needed to hear. Thanks to you [...]